Anxious. Excited. All of the Above.

I have recently been dealing with the constant and nagging feeling of anxiousness. I have emptied my home, finished up at my job, said most of my goodbyes and packed my bag. All there is left to do now is wait. and wait. and wait. and wait.

Seeing as I have adapted the "western world" work-ethic,meaning I find it hard to truly and completely find satisfaction in relaxation, I am constantly feeling anxious.

have I packed the right things? | do we have enough money? | what will we do?

I had just accepted that this was now my way of life until we finally embarked on this trip in a few weeks. I accepted that I would have endless nights of restless sleep with constant thoughts racing through my head. I had actually begun having middle of the night mini workouts in an attempt to exhaust my body so much that I would simply pass out.
(a challenging thing to do when you don't have your own room in your own home). Sadly, these mini workouts, although they are keeping me semi-fit, had not been helping. So, each night I lie awake, thought after thought racing through my head, did I email that person back? what will I do with my cellphone? did I actually put the visa paper with my passport? oh crap.. where's my passport?

appealing  right??

Then, on my long trip back to Ottawa to visit my family, I randomly opted to pack my recently untouched book, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Originally I had bought this book sometime back when I was in a very low place. I was searching for something, anything, to pull me out of my misery. But I knew the answer wasn't a thing. It had to come from me. So, to the self-help section I went. And I have to say, sure there are some kooky, crazy self-help books out there, but once in awhile you find a goody! And this one is
just that. A powerful book! I had read about 50 pages and that was enough to pump me full of confidence in my ability to take care of myself, and be the one to make myself happy!

I hadn't touched this book since that time. Which makes for some interesting thoughts floating through my head as I opened it and read through the many underlined phrases in the first 50 pages. If you haven't read it, and are able to open your perspective to a new concept, than I suggest you give it a try!

I have intrepreted the teachings of this book to associate well with my current theme of this trip: Gratitude!

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